Obsession
Without obsession, there is no creation. Without absolute immersion, there is no emergence. Today I pray for obsession. Pure obsession. I want pure obsession that tunnels me out of all the mess of reality. I am obsessed with a dream.
Patterns
Watch me return. I have taken a long walk along the rainbow. It is time to return. There are too many stories wanting freedom, there are too many fantasies wanting chains, there are too many collusions in this mind. Just watch me return.
Creatures
Cats are powerless, weak little creatures that injure easily. We don’t have shells like turtles, nor wings like birds. We can’t burrow into the ground like moles or change colour like a chameleon.
Haruki Murakami in Kafka on the Shore
The American
Fantastic photography, great story. There is one precious scene between Jack and Clara. She is a prostitute and he is a professional killer and skilled weapon craftsman. He had paid her a visit, and in that scene they are in bed, he on top of her, and all sorts of emotion are on his face. He slides down and gives her a good licking and all the camera shows is her face and her pleasure. Afterwards he tells her that she does not have to act with him, she can just be herself. She is surprised about this remark, realizes what is going on, and then makes a remark that makes sure that there is ambivalence in the room about her reaction. He turns around and tells her that he is there to get pleasure, not to give pleasure. That my dear, is a damn good line in my book. That is a lot of my attitude about sex and intercourse. If I fuck, it is for my pleasure. I hope that you fuck for your own pleasure. I am responsible for my pleasure, not you, not any man in the world. It is so simple that most men do not understand. I control my orgasms, nobody else. Besides that, that sex and intimacy is a whole lot more than orgasms and erections. Actually, I view those last two as minor details. Nice details, nice to have, but not essential; they are necessary for reproduction, but not for pleasure.
Random Fluctuations
… that not being all, on tuesday morning one waves via text message from some place in the south pacific. What the fuck? Got confused for a while until I remembered that my heart had decided long ago about him. It is just my fucked up rational that has a tough time accepting my decision, and the decision is no. It was no in Lisbon when he first showed interest, and it was no when he first asked me to spend a week with him after our first night together. It was no each and every time that he mentioned commitment and marriage. Each and every time, spontaneously, my reaction was no. When will the rational learn to respect my own heart? I know that I have a good intellect, but it has a poor sense of emotional balance!
Ambition
The universe does not yield to anybody’s will. Focus on ambition. Each day sing a song and do a prayer to ambition. Learn grace.
Get drenched in the rain. Immerse in the universe. Action, and ambition. That is it. All. Rituals.
drew the line
woke up feeling like it all had changed. one day, the complaint is that there is no place to draw the line, the next day you wake up drawing the line.
it is a small gesture. a few letters from the alphabet arranged purposefully, and there, the world has changed. woke up, and it had changed. no reason necessary.
